Kate Middleton is Pregnant. Who is the REAL father?

Nothing against William, but I’m sure is plenty of speculation on Kate’s bump. It’s not because we doubt his ability to procreate. But it's because we are aware of, let’s say,  a number of “contenders”  who are quite capable of utilising their crown jewels

Prince Harry – 6 to 4 chance

The firm favourite of course. William’s brother is consistently reported on every year in the tabloid press , often in controversial circumstances, usually involving women.  This is the royal who lets no paparazzi photographer stand in his way of having “a fuckin laugh”. Would it really be unthinkable that he would betray his own (half) brother?

All I’m going to say is, if there is even a single strand of ginger hair when that baby is born….

James Hewitt – 2 to 1 chance

A.K.A Prince Harry’s dad. (For legal reasons, I must state that the prior statement was intended to be humorous in nature, and is in no way declaring that James Hewitt is indeed Prince Harry’s father).

This upper class bad boy is no stranger to dipping his pen in royal ink. And who’s to say he wouldn’t have a go again?

Prince Charles 8 to 1 chance

Underneath that tree-hugging philanthropist image, is a lonely man in need of affection. Camilla is the antipathy of warmth and fondness. And Chaz has spent many a long weekend, looking after his first son’s daughter. Something MUST have happened.

Prince Phillip 12 to 1 chance

Blunt replies and lengthy trips to the hospital? All a foil to deflect the media from the real issue.

John Terry 15 to 1 chance

Injured for the last few weeks. Kate Middleton suddenly pregnant. Coincidence? [Apologies, this one has been plagiarised]

 David Cameron 20 to 1 chance

Suddenly he wants to change the rules so that every royal first born, no matter what gender, is first in line the throne? Who are you kidding Dave? That smarmy Eton smile is fooling no one.

Usain Bolt 100 to 1 chance

Good friends with Harry, sharing some fellow ‘lads banter’ with the ginger prince. His constant forays into the UK to promote himself and his Virgin Broadband, could easily have afforded him an opportunity to get to know the Royals even better.  And he’d make a speedy exit undetected out of that royal palace too.

Changing attitudes towards the British Empire.

David Cameron recently suggested, at a conference in Pakistan, that Britain and its Empire are responsible for many of the world’s problems.

If you conducted a survey one hundred years ago on the thoughts of the British people on the Empire, I am sure the results would have overwhelmingly displayed feelings of pride and accomplishment.

However, conduct the survey today, and I am sure a good proportion of the responses would be mixed, and would question the moral and ethical decisions that the British government made in their campaigns to bring civilisation and order to foreign lands they saw as wild, and undeveloped.

The shift in attitudes in some members of the British populace can be attributed to changing cultural attitudes to imperialism; a vast, rapid and highly critical media; and a re-interpretation and re-evaluation of history.

People now see imperialism as an arrogant belief in one’s superiority over other nations and cultures, and that attempts to impose one’s way of living on to others is unjust. This has been particularly evident in the rise of demonstrations against government intervention in foreign lands, which started in the 1960s with the protests in America against the Vietnam war, and have been continuing ever since with protests against British and American intervention in Iraq in recent years.

The media and its technological advances has disseminated information and reported on events that were previously extremely one sided or unknown to people back at home. When a war breaks out in Iraq, a journalist is already there reporting on the loss of civilian life and destroying of people’s homes and livelihood. We realize that there are two sides to every coin.

And now, history is no longer taught with a glorified sense of British achievements in foreign lands. We are also taught the ugly side of history – of the negatives British rule also brought; and the atrocities that some committed.

Perhaps it is no wonder than that even a Conservative Prime Minister has admitted that Britain’s history with the world has been problematic.

However it would be unfair to say that the British Empire was all bad. It did bring stability, technological advances and economic development to many regions. It did lead to the establishment of the commonwealth which has promoted just political causes.

Therefore this presents political leaders with a problem when they choose to praise or criticize British imperialism. They are damned if they do, but damned if they don’t.

I hate to admit it, but David Cameron has a point…

…and I feel dirty for saying so.

His speech detailing the failings of multiculturalism at a security conference in Germany (which can be found here) made a lot of sense to me. In fact, the points made were fairly similar to the ones I made in an essay I wrote on multiculturalism in my first year of university.

Multiculturalism has not entirely failed. But it does need to be reworked and reshaped.

The problem with the multiculturalism we have in Britain is that it creates insular factions within society. Racial groups who live in bubbles where they choose to interact only with people and processes within their culture. This can breed racial tension, as these groups are deeply suspicious of other groups, as well as mainstream society.

And in some cases, it can breed extremists.

I am not saying we should get rid of multiculturalism. The right to celebrate and honor one’s cultural heritage is a right that should always remain intact. What Britain needs , however, is a mixture of assimilation and multiculturalism.

Different cultural and racial groups should recognize that they are also part of one society and culture; and that they also have a set of British cultural values that everyone adheres to and is proud of. A collective identity.

By doing this, we allow ethnic minorities to celebrate their own cultural background, but also feel they are part of British culture. This will invariably lead to more trust between different racial groups and less racism.

Here is an example to illustrate. Amongst my British Chinese friends, there are two different types:

• The well rounded British Chinese person. He or she has friends from many different cultures and racial backgrounds as well as friends from his or her own community. He or she also embraces British culture alongside Chinese culture.

• The insular British Chinese person. He or she lives in a bubble where they only interact with other Chinese. He or she does their best not to interact with other races or cultures and is deeply critical and suspicious of British culture, choosing only to celebrate their own way of life. As a result of this, they find it very difficult to fit in to British society and do not make many friends at, for example, work.

As a society, we need to be to be encouraging the first option.

I therefore grudgingly admit David Cameron is right.

The debates last week were won on coolness, not policies

Now if I’m being totally honest, despite my seemingly intellectual rants in previous blog entries, I don’t actually know as much about politics as most of you people seem to think I do. Aside from a politics A-level, a sociology degree, a daily inspection of the BBC news website and a regular splattering of Question Time…well, I guess I know as much as the average Joe off the street.


So I’m not going to bore you with an in-depth political analysis of the UK’s first ever election debate between the leaders of the three main parties, whilst wittily throwing in a few references to the Icelandic Volcano. That would bring an ash cloud of misery to all loyal followers of this blog.


No, what I am going to do instead is poke fun at the debaters much like the multitude of Facebook groups that have sprung in the wake of this event.
So David Cameron. Suave and smooth (both verbally and facially) he may have been, but he most definitely bore the brunt of most of the internet comedy. Yes anecdotes were a mainstay strategy of all three debaters, but the Tory leader took it to another level – starting almost every argument with an account of how he met someone last week. I’m watching a political debate here David – not one man’s memoirs of his journeys through gloomy England.


One of my mates aptly called it “Story time with David Cameron”. Furthermore, in one example, he highlighted how one of these individuals he met was black – despite it making no difference whatsoever to the point he was making. His predictable rhetoric was inevitably parodied with this brilliant little website.


On a substance level (and I do apologize for breaking my promise about not delving into a political analysis) I did not appreciate how he equated China to being as dangerous as Iran when it came to the topic of which countries were a threat to world peace with their nuclear weapons. This is in spite of China being a permanent member of the Nuclear Safety Council and a regular discourager of North Korea’s weapons testing. It was clear he was attempting to play on peoples’ fears – an approach which was regularly employed by the Bush regime and picked up upon by political film maker Michael Moore in his rather brilliant documentary ‘Bowling for Columbine’.



Do we want to live under a government that looks to frighten us into supporting them? I sincerely hope not.

Moving on, Gordon Brown was tedious as usual. I don’t know what it is about him, maybe it’s his voice, but he seems to tinge every speech and answer he makes with a dark cloud of gloom and doom. I certainly don’t want to hear another few years of his voice delivering news on how the economy is slowly and surely making a recovery. It’s enough to make me slit my wrists and then hope I die a very quick death.

Additionally, he had an amusing habit of agreeing with most of the points Nick Clegg made. Is he a Lib Dem in disguise? Or are Labour planning to reinvent themselves again to create (god forbid) a fourth way? Of course this was picked up upon by the good people of the internet who dedicated a facebook group to his catch phrase: “I agree with Nick”.

I also found it rather amusing how Gordon Brown opted for a bright pink tie instead of the usual plush red of the Labour party. An allegedly bad-tempered, bulky Scott being tamed by a rather effeminate looking tie. Nice.

And finally, Nick Clegg. Well, call me biased, but I think he came out looking the best. Composed, charismatic and fresh. He didn’t resemble an old wreck like Brown or an overly polished plastic mannequin like Cameron. Perhaps those labeling him as the new Obama was a bit much (especially considering he’s not black) but he was cool, and for that adjective to be used on someone in politics is rarer than a Jeremy Clarkson endorsed ad campaign for People and Planet.

Furthermore, the fact he’s slept with no more than 30 women actually further raises my opinion of him. What an absolute lad. Just what we need in government – a bit of character and spunk. Excuse me.


Of course he didn’t escape humorous criticism entirely with many poking fun at his views on scrapping Trident. But I feel he is perhaps one of the best leaders the Lib Dems have had in years. And whilst the prospect of them gaining power is still incredibly unlikely, he has done enough to make Labour and the Conservatives quake in their boots at the likelihood of a hung parliament.



Go on Nick Clegg my son.