A call out to all Chinese living in the West - Don't forget who you are!

Contrary to what many people think, I have always tried to have an optimistic view on human nature.  But as I get older and acquire more experience of the world, this belief is continually tested, particularly by the actions and behaviours of people within my ethnic community.

Before I go on further, I would like to make clear that this is not a rant piece. Too often have I been told off by my fellow peers, for approaching the subject in too, let’s say, strong a manner.

So no, this isn’t an incensed essay on the failures of my community. More a gentle article on the key issues my community faces.

A significant proportion of the Chinese community residing in the western world is being brainwashed by the western media and culture. That’s quite a big statement to make, I know. But I have good reason to say this.

The Chinese community in the west is highly fragmented. We very rarely live in communities or ghettos like other ethnic groups.  Consequently, young Chinese people growing up normally have very little interaction with other Chinese, other than their parents and other close relatives.

In conjunction with this, we often experience racism, albeit casual and not of the vicious nature that other ethnic groups can sometimes receive. At primary school, I often had classmates make squinty eyes at me, and would walk past to echoes of kung fu sounds in the corridors. I’m sure most Chinese kids have experienced the same.

If you’re a smart young kid, you learn to brush this off and develop a thick skin. The grown up way.

But most children aren’t like that.

Consequently, the alternative is that many Chinese kids develop insecurities. They learn to mask these insecurities by distancing themselves from their race, and becoming as westernized as possible in order to be accepted.

This might begin with having the same interests as their white British friends, but slowly spirals into wanting to have blonde hair, big eyes, and a caucasian nose.

They shun being around other Chinese peers at school, and prefer to be around white British or white Americans instead. Being around another Chinese person becomes something of an embarrassment to them, a symbol of all their insecurities.

And whilst some Chinese kids begin to realize their error as they reach adulthood, a lot of them carry these insecurities with them for the rest of their life.

You may be thinking how I could possibly provide such an in depth analysis – and that’s because I used to be one of these kids. Up until a few years ago, I used to be that Chinese guy who wanted nothing to do with the Chinese community.

The other problem Chinese people in the western world face is the lack of role models. There are very few British Chinese or British American celebrities to look up to – especially for Chinese males.

In Britain, there are very few British Born Chinese TV personalities aside from Gok Wan and Ken Hom. There are no British Born footballers, and in the U.S, there has only recently been the first rise of an American Born Chinese basketball player Jeremy Lin. There are a few American Born and British Chinese females in the public eye. But not many.

In fact, we are often portrayed extremely negatively in the media. Hollywood movies stereotype us as the kung fu fighters with the broken English accent. Or we are painted as the socially inept geeks.  The last time I remember seeing a Chinese guy in a British series, he was stir frying chips in Peter Kay’s restaurant.

There is no hunky Chinese man in western media to aspire to, no charming Chinese male gentleman, very few female Chinese TV personalities.

And as China moves ever closer to become the world’s next super power, the negative stereotypes are gradually evolving into images of the big Chinese bully, the people with the poor human rights record, and the backward individuals with the odd delicacies.

Western Chinese might look back into China for role models. But even in a nation of dark hair and dark eyes, the advertising campaigns utilize westerners to sell products and services – further reinforcing the belief that white is what we should all be aspiring to.

There is also a real lack of pride in Chinese communities in the west. Unlike, for example, the Jewish community or South Asian communities – or even the Latino community in America – we are not taught to stand up and be proud of our backgrounds. Instead, we instinctively keep our heads down, ignore the injustices and try to get on in life.

All of this results in one thing. The Chinese kids that developed insecurities at school, continue to have them in adult life. They continue to shun their parent culture and continue to believe they are not part of a stereotype.

Inter racial marriage is hugely prevalent in the Chinese community. In fact, we are the community with the highest levels of individuals getting married to a race that isn’t our own. This is a statistic that is true for both Britain and America and occurs mainly with Chinese females.

I have no objections to inter racial marriage at all – its socially healthy to see communities mixing, and there is also strong evidence to suggest mixed race babies are less prone to genetic disorders.

Yet, I can’t help thinking how many of these marriages and relationships are being driven by childhood insecurities, and a need to distance oneself from the Chinese community. Only the people in question would know.

I would be a fool to think that these problems are existential only in our community. Various black communities, the South Asian community, Jewish community and many other communities also have similar issues.

However I can’t help but notice that it is far more prevalent within the Chinese Ethnic group than any other minority. Discussions in the media, on the internet and personal experience has proved this to me.

In the U.S, where race is a hugely divisive issue, many American Born Chinese openly state their disdain for their parent culture. The video at the beginning of this article is evidence of this.

In fact, in the past, I have encountered many British Chinese individuals who have actively avoided me in social situations. Though there are possibly many other reasons for them doing so, I can’t help but think it is more likely down to the fact that I am Chinese – a representation of all things they try and avoid.

It is a bleak outlook for many Chinese communities living in the western world.

As I said earlier in this piece, I used to be that person with deep insecurities about my race. I used to actively avoid being around Chinese people and pretended to know nothing about my background.

But as I have grown older, I’ve realized the error of my ways and begun to appreciate my parent culture. And I’m pretty damn thankful for this. Who cares if my white mates give me banter about being Chinese? Why should it stop me from being proud of ethnic origin?

I know this blog has a pretty small reach. It will probably only be read by a few people and their mutual friends on my Facebook and Twitter. Possibly some others on a message board if I’m lucky.

And I’m probably not offering anything new in terms of opinions, nor am I likely to vastly change the views of some western Chinese with internalized racial issues.

But even so, I would like send out the following messages. Don’t forget your background, and don’t shun it. There is plenty to be proud of if you’re a Chinese person living in Britain, America or any other western country.

There’s nothing wrong with embracing western culture. Assimilation is important for a cohesive society. But to become so assimilated that you actively dislike your own race and will do everything to avoid it? Now that is hugely depressing to see.

Thanks for reading.