Nothing against William, but I’m sure is
plenty of speculation on Kate’s bump. It’s not because we doubt his ability to
procreate. But it's because we are aware of, let’s say, a number of “contenders” who are quite capable of utilising their crown
jewels
Prince Harry – 6 to 4 chance
The firm favourite of course. William’s
brother is consistently reported on every year in the tabloid press , often in
controversial circumstances, usually involving women. This is the royal who lets no paparazzi
photographer stand in his way of having “a fuckin laugh”. Would it really be
unthinkable that he would betray his own (half) brother?
All I’m going to say is, if there is even a
single strand of ginger hair when that baby is born….
James Hewitt – 2 to 1 chance
A.K.A Prince Harry’s dad. (For legal
reasons, I must state that the prior statement was intended to be humorous in
nature, and is in no way declaring that James Hewitt is indeed Prince Harry’s
father).
This upper class bad boy is no stranger to
dipping his pen in royal ink. And who’s to say he wouldn’t have a go again?
Prince Charles 8 to 1 chance
Underneath that tree-hugging philanthropist
image, is a lonely man in need of affection. Camilla is the antipathy of warmth
and fondness. And Chaz has spent many a long weekend, looking after his first
son’s daughter. Something MUST have happened.
Prince Phillip 12 to 1 chance
Blunt replies and lengthy trips to the
hospital? All a foil to deflect the media from the real issue.
John Terry 15 to 1 chance
Injured for the last few weeks. Kate
Middleton suddenly pregnant. Coincidence? [Apologies, this one has been plagiarised]
David Cameron 20 to 1 chance
Suddenly he wants to change the rules so
that every royal first born, no matter what gender, is first in line the
throne? Who are you kidding Dave? That smarmy Eton smile is fooling no one.
Usain Bolt 100 to 1 chance
Good friends with Harry, sharing some
fellow ‘lads banter’ with the ginger prince. His constant forays into the UK to
promote himself and his Virgin Broadband, could easily have afforded him an opportunity
to get to know the Royals even better. And he’d make a speedy exit undetected out of
that royal palace too.
