The debates last week were won on coolness, not policies

Now if I’m being totally honest, despite my seemingly intellectual rants in previous blog entries, I don’t actually know as much about politics as most of you people seem to think I do. Aside from a politics A-level, a sociology degree, a daily inspection of the BBC news website and a regular splattering of Question Time…well, I guess I know as much as the average Joe off the street.


So I’m not going to bore you with an in-depth political analysis of the UK’s first ever election debate between the leaders of the three main parties, whilst wittily throwing in a few references to the Icelandic Volcano. That would bring an ash cloud of misery to all loyal followers of this blog.


No, what I am going to do instead is poke fun at the debaters much like the multitude of Facebook groups that have sprung in the wake of this event.
So David Cameron. Suave and smooth (both verbally and facially) he may have been, but he most definitely bore the brunt of most of the internet comedy. Yes anecdotes were a mainstay strategy of all three debaters, but the Tory leader took it to another level – starting almost every argument with an account of how he met someone last week. I’m watching a political debate here David – not one man’s memoirs of his journeys through gloomy England.


One of my mates aptly called it “Story time with David Cameron”. Furthermore, in one example, he highlighted how one of these individuals he met was black – despite it making no difference whatsoever to the point he was making. His predictable rhetoric was inevitably parodied with this brilliant little website.


On a substance level (and I do apologize for breaking my promise about not delving into a political analysis) I did not appreciate how he equated China to being as dangerous as Iran when it came to the topic of which countries were a threat to world peace with their nuclear weapons. This is in spite of China being a permanent member of the Nuclear Safety Council and a regular discourager of North Korea’s weapons testing. It was clear he was attempting to play on peoples’ fears – an approach which was regularly employed by the Bush regime and picked up upon by political film maker Michael Moore in his rather brilliant documentary ‘Bowling for Columbine’.



Do we want to live under a government that looks to frighten us into supporting them? I sincerely hope not.

Moving on, Gordon Brown was tedious as usual. I don’t know what it is about him, maybe it’s his voice, but he seems to tinge every speech and answer he makes with a dark cloud of gloom and doom. I certainly don’t want to hear another few years of his voice delivering news on how the economy is slowly and surely making a recovery. It’s enough to make me slit my wrists and then hope I die a very quick death.

Additionally, he had an amusing habit of agreeing with most of the points Nick Clegg made. Is he a Lib Dem in disguise? Or are Labour planning to reinvent themselves again to create (god forbid) a fourth way? Of course this was picked up upon by the good people of the internet who dedicated a facebook group to his catch phrase: “I agree with Nick”.

I also found it rather amusing how Gordon Brown opted for a bright pink tie instead of the usual plush red of the Labour party. An allegedly bad-tempered, bulky Scott being tamed by a rather effeminate looking tie. Nice.

And finally, Nick Clegg. Well, call me biased, but I think he came out looking the best. Composed, charismatic and fresh. He didn’t resemble an old wreck like Brown or an overly polished plastic mannequin like Cameron. Perhaps those labeling him as the new Obama was a bit much (especially considering he’s not black) but he was cool, and for that adjective to be used on someone in politics is rarer than a Jeremy Clarkson endorsed ad campaign for People and Planet.

Furthermore, the fact he’s slept with no more than 30 women actually further raises my opinion of him. What an absolute lad. Just what we need in government – a bit of character and spunk. Excuse me.


Of course he didn’t escape humorous criticism entirely with many poking fun at his views on scrapping Trident. But I feel he is perhaps one of the best leaders the Lib Dems have had in years. And whilst the prospect of them gaining power is still incredibly unlikely, he has done enough to make Labour and the Conservatives quake in their boots at the likelihood of a hung parliament.



Go on Nick Clegg my son.

Farewell to John Lewis

So after working 7 months for middle England’s favourite department store, John Lewis, I finally finished my last shift last week. Whilst not a particularly extensive stint, I am still rather sad about leaving this prestigious company

The John Lewis partnership is run as a co-operative – that is to say that all employees own a portion of the company and are effectively partners. And, as we are all partners, we all get a share of the profits at the end of the tax year which is calculated as a percentage of our salaries.

This is in contrast to how most other private companies are run where the majority of the profit is reinvested into the business and the people at the top.

As partners, all employees have the right to have a say in how the business is run. This can be done by raising issues to your manager or attending branch or regional meetings.

The John Lewis partnership also regularly uses its profits to fund activities and events for its staff such as football tournaments or tickets to concerts.

Of course there are disadvantages to running a business like this. John Lewis cannot grow anywhere near as exponentially as say, Tescos, as their profits are nowhere near as vast and their charter forbids them from floating the company on the stock market to gain additional funds.

However, I have a high regard of the way the business is run. In a present society where colossal corporations dominate the marketplace; where shareholders dictate the running of businesses; where directors and bankers sometimes treat themselves to preposterous bonuses – John Lewis is one of the few companies that makes an extra effort to care about their employees.

The managing director, Andy Street, can only earn 50 times more than the lowest paid partner as is dictated in the company charter – which was written by the founder John Spedan Lewis. This means he has an annual salary of around 500,000 pounds. Whilst still a large amount compared to us mere mortals, it is nothing when you look at the managing directors of other prominent organizations who take home with them several millions.

John Lewis is indeed a ‘third way’ of running a business that works, and whilst I acknowledge that modern competition and globalization has necessitated a ruthless pursuit of profits in a bid to expand or stay alive, I do believe much can be learnt from this socialist influenced company.

So there’s a General Election in two months…does anyone care?

So Gordon Brown has finally penned in 6^th of May as the date for the next General Election – or, if you prefer to be cynical, the end of Labour’s promising but ultimately stuttering reign. I say this because it almost seems a certainty now that come May, David Cameron will be our new Prime Minister. And it’s not because he’s hugely charismatic or possesses a wealth of exhilarating new ideas and policies. No, it’s because the British public have quite simply had enough of Labour’s drivel and crave some sort of a change. Although change is said with the tongue firmly in the cheek.

And herein lies the problem with British politics these days. EVERYTHING IS THE BLOODY SAME. The three main parties are so anxious about losing votes that to propose any sort of policy that strays too far from what the others have pledged would be considered political suicide. No one sticks to principles anymore. The Conservatives are no longer the right wing toffs us lefty students love to hate – they’re simply a reworking of Labour with a few environmental policies thrown in. Even my supported party, the Lib Dems, have joined this middle ground bandwagon. The British political scale is getting so crowded in the middle that it’s beginning to sag and bulge.

We no longer have the parties fighting their claimed corners. No Labour pledging for socialist rights and no Conservatives standing up for traditional Tory values. Every party just wants that media friendly leader who knows how to say the right things at the right time to get the masses on their side. Gordon Brown – dull. David Cameron – tiresome. Nick Clegg – dreary. There are no characters left in British politics. No charismatic leaders who will stir a crowd into a passionate frenzy or drive them to a chorus of boos and hisses.

I watched a program the other day which highlighted how in the 1950s, hundreds of people would turn up to political rallies to question the leader of the party in question directly – often resulting in heated debates. This no longer occurs – we are all too happy sitting on our sofas watching them spout out the same middle ground nonsense to us on television.

No wonder voter turnout is so low. And no wonder the BNP are gaining votes. The disenchanted and frustrated are turning towards this extreme right wing clap trap because they see it as the only real alternative in these ruthless economic times. Nick Griffin and his cronies are the only party that are not afraid to speak their mind – and unfortunately some sections of British society like that.

Quite simply, British politics needs an overhaul. There is no point offering change if it is simply a repackaging of what was once sold to us before in the past.

Personally, I will be unenthusiastically casting my vote on the 6^th of May in what will be one of the most uninspiring general elections for a very long time.

AND IN OTHER NEWS – NO MORE DRINK FOR ME.

Whilst the election campaigns hot up or, for want of a better phrase, creak slowly into life, I have decided to give up alcohol. For four weeks. Easy for most people but when you are a bordering alcoholic like me, this will be a challenge of monumental proportions.

I will go to clubs and bars realizing how over rated some of these places are and how appalling the music is. I will have to overcome my self - consciousness in these places by actually working on my confidence instead of reaching for a beer. I will have to learn to dance properly, instead of simply wriggling like a worm trying to escape a hole, in a bid to show that I’m vaguely attractive to the opposite sex. I will no longer believe I am the life of the party. I can no longer down my wine and post outrageous statuses on Facebook whilst on a dreaded downer. These are all things I will have to overcome.

On a more positive note, I will save a huge amount of money. My health, both mentally and physically, will improve significantly.

This is a challenge that I WILL complete. And if I complete it, I will consider extending it to 5 weeks. Then possibly 6 weeks and so on.

Wish me luck.

The Asian Outsiders

The Daily Mail. The holy text of middle-England house wives. The voice of good old fashioned Conservatism with a capital C. If The Daily Mail were a person, it would be that annoying middle aged woman from next door whose only topics of conversation are to vilify asylum seekers, homosexuals and muslims – who are all apparently in some sort of pact to destroy the fabric of British society.

Yes the Daily Mail is very good at propagating extreme right wing views under the guise of a serious tabloid (which happens to be quite the oxymoron). Seemingly harmless news stories in this paper are all given their special brand of right wing treatment before being published as I observed in an article from last week:

“Chinese and Indian pupils get more top grades at GCSE than British children”

Whist seemingly harmless at first, I soon cottoned on to the fact they were separating us Asians from the British. This was confirmed in the first paragraph:

“Chinese and Indian pupils gain more top grades than white British children in every school subject.”

So according to the Daily Mail, Chinese and Indians cannot also be British despite the fact many of us were actually born and raised on this island and have as much of the culture within us as our white counter parts. (Hell I even have a British accent. Go me).

What the Daily Mail has done is to ‘Other’ us. A term that Sociologists (like myself) and studiers of the media love to use. It is a process where our race and heritage are highlighted and used to negatively separate us from the rest of society. In this case, the implication is that you can only be British if you’re white NOT if you’re Chinese or Indian.

Whilst a seemingly banal observation, when you start to look at the news more intimately you gradually start to notice all these little facets that make up a big problem. Muslims suffer from this ‘Othering’ worse than other religious or ethnic group. It doesn’t matter if you were born in London and have lived there all your life – if you’re a member of the muslim faith you will be labelled as an outsider whether you like it or not.

This has serious implications for British society who will continue to see us ethnic minorities as the mysterious unknown. It will continue to proliferate racial divide and tension as media publications such as the Daily Mail hinder our acceptance into British society.

I don’t want to be seen as that ‘Chinaman’ who lives down the road. I want to be referred to as the British guy with a Chinese racial heritage.

As for the article itself, this seems to be regular story that crops up every year. Whilst the foolish will point to the idea that Asians are supposedly naturally more intelligent (it’s genetic?!) the sensible will realize that our culture places great importance on education as a means to better oneself. In other words, if we don’t get an A in all our subjects, Mummy and Daddy will go apeshit on us.

Whilst education is important, I do however question the Asian propensity towards achieving high grades and pushing their kids (sometimes to near breaking point in some cases). Is it a healthy? Do we want all our kids to be Engineers, Doctors, Lawyers and Accountants? Or should we also encourage them to pursue other less traditional paths that they enjoy and find more fulfilling? I mean I seriously doubt that each and every one of these kids enjoy their chosen career paths and have not just done so to appease their strict Asian parents.

I don’t know about others, but I’d love to see more Chinese in the media instead of cooped up in the accounting office. Perhaps even a British Born Chinese professional footballer in the Premier League – well, we can all dream...