It finally feels like a recession...well to me it does

Call me naive, but when I first heard news of Britain sinking into a recession back in 2007, I was expecting there to be images of a descent into squalor in urban environments and a drastic change in the behaviour of people affected by this economic crisis.

What I mean is, I was expecting to be bombarded by constant media coverage of picket lines and demonstrations of irate and desperate unemployed workers; I was expecting a plethora of boarded up and dilapidated shops to suddenly start appearing; I was expecting rubbish to suddenly engulf the streets; I was expecting whole families to be walking around in torn clothes begging for money.

Hell, I was even expecting some sort of dust storm to sweep across Britain taking with it every inch of arable soil, making it virtually impossible for our farming industry to continue.

Clearly my expectations of a recession were influenced by images of the Great Depression in 1930s and the Winter of Discontent during the 1970s.

None of the aforementioned has really happened. We are still subject to constant advertising campaigns of Apple’s latest release; people are still walking through Oxford Street buying the latest fashion; celebrity controversy and X-factor still dominate television; Premiership football is still attracting large audiences with millions continuing to be spent on players and their wages.

To put it bluntly, apart from the daily news reports of how unemployment is rising and how some numbers on a computer screen have changed somewhere, it doesn’t feel like a recession.
That is, until recently.

In a recession, there is always one group of people in society affected who are most visible to the media. In the 1930s, it was the American urban workers who were often photographed queuing up for jobs or handouts. In the 1970s, it was the British trade unions and their marches that became defining picture of that era.

Now in the late 2000s recession, it seems as though it is the students who have taken up the mantle of potentially becoming the iconic picture of our economic crisis. The thousands who have marched, and the minority who have rioted on the streets of London have finally made it feel, to me, as though we are indeed in tough times.

Students are, by no means, the only faction affected nor are they most severely affected. There have been many other groups in society that have already felt the grip of recession for several months and perhaps even years now. It just so happens, that this time round, the students have had the loudest voices.

And with several commentators mentioning that we are to expect more demonstrations in the upcoming weeks, it seems very likely that they will indeed become defining image of this era.

When You go to Prison, You are Denied your Liberty – but not your Human Rights.

“Oh those bloody Europeans and their damned liberal ways” was the thoughts of many today as news broke out that the government now had to consider giving the prisoners the vote under pressure from the European Courts of Human Rights.

But like it or not, prisoners are still human beings that are under the rule of the state. And consequently their basic human rights must still be adhered to.
Before all you Daily Mail readers jump and maul me to a painful online death, please consider this: what is the real point of prison? And the answer to that is: to restrict and rehabilitate those that have been a danger to society.

The key words are ‘restrict’ and ‘rehabilitate’. When you go to prison, you lose your liberty and freedom of movement. This removes the threat to society. You also go in to be taught a lesson and to potentially come out (if you ever do come out again) a changed person who will no longer pose a threat to society (although this part of the function of incarceration and how it is enacted seems to be somewhat questionable these days).

I concur with the idea that prison should be a harsh place where authority is harsh and punishment is even harsher. There should be no comfortable mattress nor TV viewing pleasure (and unfortunately, this notion has seemingly not been adhered to by the previous government who have given some prisons an almost homely feel). However, whilst these despicable individuals who have committed crimes deserve to be treated unsympathetically and severely, they do not deserve to be treated inhumanely.

Without the vote, government pays less attention to prison and what goes on inside them. Without the vote, prisoners lose touch of society and their road to rehabilitation becomes more difficult one to walk.

Our Society places too much emphasis on achievement and not enough on learning

So that time of year again has come and gone. The time of year where we hear there are record numbers of people excelling in their GCSEs and A-levels. Where some extraordinary 5 year old with obviously pushy and deluded parents passes a Maths GCSE. Where workaholic individuals who spent their whole school life locked up in their bedroom slaving away at their homework achieve 6 or more A*s at A-level in a bid to prove just how bloody brilliant they are, whilst they fail to realize that they lack the sufficient social skills, common sense and experience that will actually get them somewhere in life.

And whilst I do come from an advanced educational background, I do find it absolutely ludicrous how we place so much value on a couple of slips of paper with our name and some grades on that apparently prove our worth to people and employers. My achievements in life summed up by a few letters of the alphabet and a ratio (2:1). Great.

Why don’t we teach students instead of training them to jump through hoops in exams. It seems as though schools just want to achieve higher amounts of A grades so they can get that magical lump of money that allows them to purchase new desks and projectors that aren’t covered in obscene graffiti about how shit their supposed great achieving school is.

Children and adolescents are no longer learning any useful in life. Most of these individuals finish school having no idea of how to manage their finances, write a CV, apply for job and generally not be a cunt in a professional setting. No wonder we have a growing underclass that we love to point and laugh and label as chavs, whilst we slowly come to realize that a good proportion of the population of Britain will soon be made up of these job seeker’s allowance claiming scumbags.

There are too many clueless people around whilst the government sits on its fat Tory arse (with a slight hint of Lib Dem) and pats itself on the back for the record number of high grades, whilst they fail to do anything about the thousands of students who can’t get into university or attain a job despite their grades. What good is a qualification if it gets you nowhere?

How many of you have worked diligently at your exams only to come out of the hall afterwards and realize that the information you have spent the past month or so cramming into your overloaded brain has been instantly forgotten?

Exams are a poor, poor way of assessing people. They are tests of memory where those can remember bits of information the best are the ones that succeed. Not a real test of your abilities.

We should stop deluding ourselves into thinking our system is still the best in the world and realize that without reform, we will continue to have these problems.

How not to handle a hostage situation

Hong Kong, a special administrative region in South-East China that usually takes a position of neutrality in international affairs, was caught up in a horrifying incident that has sent shockwaves throughout the Far East and most of the rest of the world.

A coach load of Hong Kong tourists, who were travelling through Manila in the Philippines, was hijacked by an armed former policeman who was angry at his unfair dismissal from the police force. Dubbed the ‘Manila Siege’, the incident dragged on for many hours before concluding with a bloody gunfight between the suspect and the police as they stormed the coach. The resulting fatalities were eight Hong Kong tourists. Two survivors were identified as British nationals.

What has shocked people, is not just the act of terrorism, but the level of incompetence shown by the supposedly highly trained Filipino SWAT team whose strategy to rescue the tourists was filmed entirely by the media and seen by most of the world.

The anger amongst the Hong Kong people is understandable. Watching the team carry out their mission was like watching a bunch of unruly children trying to smash up a dilapidated car with bricks and cricket bats. I have seen better tactics and strategies employed by people at paint balling events. Had it not been for the tragic deaths of 8 people, the whole incident would have been laughable.

I’m no expert on hostage situations, but even I know that attempting to smash the windows of a coach open with sledgehammers whilst an irrational armed gunman inside is rapidly panicking is not a good idea at all. What was even more aggravating was learning that several times during the incident, the gunman actually walked right to the door of the bus, with his gun by his side, to talk to the police. Where were the close combat police ready to take him out? Or even better, where was the marksman ready to take a shot?! Don’t let him get back on the bus with the hostages!

And even if it wasn’t possible to take him out there and then, surely it would have been better to simply give in to his demands! After all, he was one man and one man only. Not a terrorist group. Give him what he wants, draw him out into the open and arrest him.

I think the one piece of footage that really summed up the whole farce was that of a Filipino SWAT team member attempting to throw some sort of smoke grenade through a hole in the window – only for it to fall back out again resulting in him having to do it a second time.

Utter shambles, utter incompetence and sadly, a tragic end to a situation that could have been solved without any loss of life.

Even worse is how the Philippine government now acts as if they handled the situation in the best possible manner.

Understandably now, the relations between Hong Kong and the Philippines are strained.

But there is another thing we have to remember and I hope that all people who feel some sort of anger towards the incident remember. You are angry at the decisions and actions of the Filipino Police and government – not the Filipino people. It has been astounding how, over the past few days, some Hong Kong citizens have expressed their fury at the Filipinos particularly the sizeable Filipino community that resides in the region. Some Filipinos have even lost their jobs as housekeepers in Hong Kong households as a result of this. We must remember that this amounts to pure racism and misdirected anger.

Why this has been the most disappointing World Cup of recent memory

Whilst the Spanish celebrate their historic first World Cup triumph, it is now for the rest of the football world to review how this tournament has panned out. I suppose the first world that comes to mind is disappointing and here’s 5 reasons why.

The quality of the football

This was a World Cup characterized by terror. No I’m not talking about what the North Korean team have to return to, I’m referencing the attitude adopted by many of the teams on the field. They were simply terrified of losing. And this resulted in defensive, anti-football tactics which left little room for creativity, attacking flair and, most importantly, goals. The fact that Spain, the champions, scored only 8 goals for the whole tournament is testament to this. After 64 games played, I could probably count out on two hands the amount of matches that actually had me on the edge of my seat. A real shame but then I suppose many of the managers of lesser teams were being realistic. Sending North Korea out to go all out attack on the Brazilians would have been like telling the armed police officers of a truck full of money travelling through South Africa’s deepest, darkest, dodgiest streets to take the day off. Absolute carnage.

The failure of the top stars to perform

Was it fatigue? Was it the pressure of expectation? Or perhaps it was the result of the defensive tactics employed by the teams they played against? Whatever the reason, many of the supposed top stars tipped to shine at this world cup failed to show up. Wayne Rooney, Cristiano Ronaldo, Kaka, Fernando Torres, Lionel Messi. The appearance of these names would normally be enough to send most men to a quivering wreck of excitement, but the reality was that they were about as gripping as an episode of Doctor Who.

Those fucking vuvuzelas

The sound of a thousand angry bees will now haunt me for some time after this world cup. Blowing a tuneless horn with no semblance of rhythm constantly for 90 minutes is not atmosphere. It’s fucking annoying.

Outpriced South African fans

Fifa pledged to make tickets available for all local residents. This is how a World Cup should be – a chance for the local residents to experience one of the biggest sporting events on earth. Unfortunately Fifa also forgot the average wage of a South African is well below that of many of their European counterparts and so did not lower the prices of tickets. The result? Visibly empty seats at many of the matches including the semi-finals.

The Jabulani

Why change the most integral piece of equipment for a football match Adidas? Whilst the new technology and design of the ball promised more true flight and harder shots, it rarely failed to live up to its claim. Having played with the ball myself, I have to say I hated it. Too light and anything but predictable when it was airborne. This was shown by the amount of players who couldn’t master controlling and striking the ball despite being top class professionals. Give me a good old fashioned 32 panel ball any day.

My 2 Cents on the England team

It’s been a week now since England were embarrassingly dumped out of the World Cup by our old foes Ze Germans. The dust has finally settled and every commentator, pundit and blogger has offered a multitude of reasons why the English football team has failed again: The weight of expectation from the fans and media; the fact our players aren’t as good as we make them out to be; the manager’s decisions; the fact we underestimated and under rated the German players; the lack of young English talent as a result of old fashioned English football coaching culture; tiredness from a long grueling Premier League season….and so on.

I’m not here to pin point one reason. In fact I’m here to say that they are all valid reasons for why the England team has failed and will continue to fail until we address these issues. And in this article, I will address the 3 most important ones.

England Expects

The English are a proud and passionate bunch. It’s hard to pinpoint exactly why. Perhaps the very fact we’re an island and have experienced many attempts from other nations to invade our shores which has turned us into fighters. Or perhaps it’s the once glorious yet non existing British empire which has continuously reminded us that we are apparently a great nation. Our perhaps it’s the fact we have been on the winning side of two World Wars and triumphed in the face of adversity.

Whatever the reason, pride and passion are clearly evident in our attitude towards war and competition. And because the English can no longer throw their military weight around like they have done in the past, we focus our attitudes and expectations towards competition particularly through sport. Tennis, Rugby, Cricket…Football. And yet, whilst a little bit of patriotic pride is healthy in uniting a nation; our media and fans often take it to monumental levels whenever the England football team begin a tournament. This places enormous pressure on our players who know that should they fail, they have a whole country read to tear them apart on their return. Yes, we all experience pressure in life, but to have 60 million people breathing down your back should you founder is an entirely different matter.

And whilst some may point out that all the other teams in the tournament have expecting fans and media, I personally do not think they are as demanding as the English. Take the French team for example. They may have failed spectacularly in the world cup, but rather than the focus being on their poor performance, attention was paid more towards the way the players the humiliated the nation through their behavior towards each other and the manager rather than the lack of results on the field.

Brazilians are perhaps the closest when it comes to expectations of their football team. Yet at the same time, Brazil have 5 world cup and 8Copa America’s to their name. Such a rich history of successes gives the team confidence and inspires them towards victory. England, on the other hand, have 1 World Cup win and have lost all but one penalty shootouts in all competitions. When you’re an English kid who is aspiring to be a professional footballer, and you are repeatedly taught this history, this has a massive a psychological impact which hangs in your head as you step on to the field having worked hard enough to make it as a professional and be called up to the England team.

Our players aren’t as good as we make them out to be

The majority of our players aren’t world class. The Premier League is the most watched league globally and this is in no small part due to highly effective marketing. However this marketing also serves to hype up any English player with any semblance of talent. Their images appear on adverts all over the world and their names are shouted with ferocity by commentators in a hundred different languages.

The problem is, that just because you’re English, famous and play in arguably the best football league in the world, it doesn’t make you a world class player. Within the England team, I see only 3 world class players. Wayne Rooney (although now debatable given his failure to perform at both World Cups he’s been in), Ashley Cole and Rio Ferdinand.

The rest of the bunch are pretty damn good. But world class? Definitely not.

Take Steven Gerrard for example. Quite clearly, the lad has talent. In fact, in terms of technique and technical ability, he is one of England’s best. But his lack of a football brain hinders him from using his talent effectively and ever being world class. Too often I see him taking the wrong decisions on the field. Trying to force the killer pass when he should be playing it simple to retain possession, playing a stupid Hollywood long ball that again results in possession being conceded, shooting from ridiculous positions etc.

A commentator on the England vs Germany game said that only 1 player from the German team could make it into the England team. Rubbish, pure arrogance and lack of respect towards some very good German players.

Yes I’m telling you now, we have barely any world class players and worryingly, we have very little coming through the youth systems. And this brings me on to the third issue:

Old fashioned, English football coaching culture

The writer of Arseblog.com, the unofficial Arsenal blog summed it very well in his piece immediately after England’s defeat to Germany:

“foreign players are far, far better technically. They learn a different game as kids, they're not stuck on a full sized 11-a-side pitch at 9 years of age and told that passion and spirit are what will win games. They learn to pass, control the ball, move off the ball, retain possession, slow things down and not do everything at 100mph. Technical ability counts at this level, having players who don't think they're the best in the world is a good thing too.”

For a nation that is obsessed with football and has arguably the best football league in the world, our approach to how we play the game and teach our kids to play the game is laughable. As the Arseblog writer correctly wrote, we do indeed stick our kids on full sized pitches at far too young at age and pressure them into winning rather than playing good football. The biggest, strongest, most athletic players who can punt the ball the furthest up the field succeed whilst skill and technical ability are coached out of them.

We also get the most inexperienced coaches to look after youth football when really it should be the most experienced ones as it is at this age when most young footballers develop their skills.

Arsene Wenger once said that to create a successful player, you must approach it like building a house. The basement represents the key technical, football skills which every footballer needs and keeps the structure standing. No basement means the house can never be built. The ground floor represents the physical aspects of the player – whether he has the strength and athleticism to keep up with the game. The 1st floor represents the tactical aspect of player - whether he can understand the game and how it should be played. Finally, the roof represents the desire and passion of the player to become a professional.

Unfortunately, most English coaches of football prefer to build bungalows with no basements. As a result, too many English players are hard working athletes rather than footballers.

Football football football

The papers tomorrow will probably use words such as ‘incredible’ and ‘impressive’ to describe the opening ceremony of the 2010 World Cup. I however, beg to differ. It was tedious and almost predictable in some places. Whilst it’s always nice to see a nation’s demonstration of its culture in sporting ceremonies, World Cup openers have become routine events where as many pop stars, musicians and children from the nation in question are shoved in to produce an over bulging ritual that simply tries too hard. I suppose my own standards were pretty high having watched the immensely impressive, yet hugely expensive, opening ceremony of the Beijing Olympics two years ago. I don’t think we will be witnessing a ceremony better than that for many years to come.

That said, it was rather nice to finally see a highly criticized country prove to the world that they could pull it off. It was like watching the end of those TV shows where fat, ugly people are put through a makeover and surgery and finally revealed to their friends as this transformed and somewhat attractive individual. Well done South Africa and well done Africa.

In terms of the football, the quality has been poor so far. The opening match between South Africa and Mexico was average at best bar a stunning goal from the hosts. France against Uruguay was even worse. Still, it was the first day and group A was never really going to set the tournament on fire. I am sure that in the next few days, we will be watching edge-of-our-seat matches where grown men will readily admit to messing their pants after witnessing a goal scored using immense skill and finesse.

And one also hopes that come 9:15pm tomorrow, we will be cheering an England win over those loud mouth Yanks.

Enjoy the world cup ladies and gents :-)

English Society Creates its Own Issues

So for the past few weeks, I have noticed a fair few nationalist groups springing up on Facebook which have obviously been as a reaction towards fictitious or miss-quoted news stories that have arisen in light of the World Cup.

I am of course referring to groups such as “STOP Police banning the England flag during the World Cup” and “Its funny how our flag offends you but our benefits dont”. One cannot help but notice, on top of the grammatical errors in the title, just how moronic these groups are and not least the disgusting amount of xenophobia that reeks from the thousands of people who have joined or liked them.

This talk of banning England shirts because it offends ethnic minorities is most certainly false and we can clear this up with an issued statement from the government themselves here.

Of course, these right wing imbeciles would also point out the recent story of the woman whose young son was supposedly refused entry on to a bus because his England shirt offended the Polish bus driver. This, again, was also proved to be a lie as was shown by the bus company’s investigation here. My guess is the real reason she was refused on was because she could not afford the fare and decided to express her bitterness towards the ‘dirty’ foreigner whom she has a deep-seated abhorrence towards.

These incidents show, not just how some sections of English society still bear some sort of irrational animosity towards immigrants, but also how some white English people actually create a lot of these issues themselves.

There are some white English, who are so terrified of offending ethnic minorities, that they go to great lengths to have, for example, popular nursery rhymes such as ‘Baa Baa Black Sheep’ changed to ‘Baa Baa Multi-coloured Sheep” or to ban Christmas decorations from being put up in areas that have a high Muslim population. It really is political correctness gone mad.

But the real problem occurs when more right wing idiotic sections of society, who don’t do their research properly, read about these proposed changes or bans and then decide to blame the all ethnic minorities for it when they failed to realize that it was in fact their white counterparts who suggested it in the first place.

This is exactly what has happened in the build up to the World Cup. With patriotism riding high, it was inevitable that some sections of English society would misconstrue news stories regarding England shirts, flags and supposed banning.

Although there are some small sections of ethnic minorities communities that do indeed have a militant hatred towards, not just British, but western society - their membership is, relatively small and certainly not representative of the views of the majority of the immigrant and immigrant descended community.

As far as I know, most ethnic minorities do not care whether a white English person flies the St George’s flag for the World Cup or wears their England top. In fact, most of us are in fact joining in quite happily with the World Cup atmosphere. I’m probably more patriotic about our national team than most of my white friends.

And to jump on the bandwagon that all immigrants are simply coming over to claim benefits and cheat the system is just simply hogwash exemplifying how many people buy into the hyperbole of appalling publications such as the Daily Mail and The Sun. The vast majority of immigrants travel to the U.K to work hard in the form of employment or study.

Of course, some may point out that a St George’s flag cannot be flown without the said individual being labeled as racist and fascist. This, however, is the fault of political groups such as the BNP and the National Front who have used the flag so extensively, that it has almost become a symbol for these extreme views. Whilst such connotations decrease during the World Cup, I believe the only way we can stop this happening is by reclaiming the St George’s flag from the right wing. Encouraging all English, no matter what racial background, to be proud and to demonstrate their patriotism.

My Jekyll and Hyde Attitude Towards the World Cup

With the dust settling after all the recent British political fervor involving a coalition relationship between two unlikely individuals, I have decided to turn my attention towards the greatest sporting event on earth. Yes, the World Cup is only a few weeks away and I can already feel the atmosphere building in this country like a volcanic ash cloud creeping into the airspace.

What I love about the World Cup is the fact it’s the only time this self depreciating, self-hating country actually binds together and experiences some form of patriotic pride. It’s the only time the fault-finding English forget about the unpredictable weather, the badly paved streets, and the apparent degradation of society driven by those individuals we call chavs. It’s one of the few periods where a white English person can fly a St George’s flag without fear of being labeled a right wing racist – although this has never been a problem for myself being of an oriental disposition.

Without sounding too much like a representative of FIFA, I have to say I love the World Cup fever. I love seeing everyone walking around wearing their England tops and the cars driving past with the St George’s flags attached to the windows. I love how the country is gripped when the national team plays their matches and the joy that ensues when we score. I love getting drunk and singing the England chants with friends and complete strangers at the pub. No other event can come close to bringing this nation together. Not the Olympics, not even St George’s day.


Yet, at the same time, I also experience Jekyll and Hyde syndrome whenever a World Cup comes around. At times, the grumpy old man within me rears his ugly, wrinkled head. The main issue at stake is the fact I dislike how all these individuals who normally take no interest in football suddenly become experts at the sport – not least those women who suddenly feel they are ‘in with the lads’ by wearing their England top, drinking pints and screeching the chants in the pub. And then they tell you their favourite player is the one with the nicest legs and that they like the French team because their kit is pretty.

Groan.

And for god’s sake, stop asking about Beckham. He’s injured, past it and has no future left in the national team. Additionally, when the World Cup is over, these same people tell you that it’s just a game and question why we follow the sport so religiously. Unbelievable.

It is a difficult tension between two personalities that I have to overcome, but ultimately (I’m glad to say), the patriotic drunk always wins.


As for England’s chances, I have to say despite the controversies involving certain players, the Football Association and even the manager, we have the best chance of winning the World Cup in years. Even more so then 4 years ago with the so called ‘Golden Generation’ and a clueless, balding Swede.

Our manager, Italian he may be, is the best manager the team has had since Alf Ramsey. A disciplinarian, a tactician and a maker of men. Unlike the attack-at-all-costs style of the Premier League, international football is significantly more measured in its method of play and requires a lot more restraint and a more cultured approach towards the game – something which the national team has failed to do for many years. Fabio Capello has finally stamped upon the England team a more international style of passing the ball short and keeping it; rather than hoof it up to the big man at every opportunity. He’s got the best out of star player Wayne Rooney and most importantly, he’s got the team playing with confidence after years of ego-battering underachievement.

I suppose then, that my final words to this introduction to the World Cup are ones of hope and encouragement. Let’s unite as a nation, let’s get behind the lads and let’s believe we can do it.

The Election - more exciting than I than I thought it would be

I don’t normally retract statements but I have to admit I was wrong when I wrote 4 weeks ago that we would have another dreary election and an inevitable shift of power to the Conservatives. It has indeed been a fascinating election tinged with voting controversies and shocking results.

I actually stayed up till the obscene time of 9am on Friday morning to watch most of the seat declarations.

Whilst I chuckled when home secretary Jacqui Smith was displaced in her constituency, I also sighed when colourful Lib Dem candidate Lembit Opik lost his supposedly very safe seat. It was a poor night for my supported party, the Lib Dems, who actually lost a few seats. This, I attribute to people fearing that their vote wouldn’t count and so decided to choose a candidate who was more likely to win – a perfect demonstration of why we need to reform the electoral system.

I also groaned when Conservative candidate Zac Goldsmith won in Richmond park. He was quite clearly the epitome of Tory – rich son of a billionaire, public school boy, upper-class accented. Everything I despise in the Conservatives. And his denial that his seat was won with his father’s money just antagonized me further.

The first ever elected Green candidate in Brighton was a perfect reflection of the area. Anyone who’s been to this coastal town will be aware of the strong smell of left-wing, liberal, hippy-environmentalism that hangs in the air.

David Dimbleby and Jeremy Paxman were astonishing in the manner in which they managed to stay alert and lively throughout the whole night on the BBC’s election coverage. In fact, I often wonder what Paxman is on that keeps his bulldog personality ticking.

So now we have the first hung in 30 years. And I’m actually quite thrilled at the prospect of further political activity as Labour and perhaps the Conservatives struggle to form some of a government. Yes it was disappointing for the Lib Dems, but although they lost seats, they sit in a position of power as the other two main parties look to them to form a coalition government. It will be fascinating to see what unfolds.

Tee Total Time Up

My challenge to go without alcohol for a month was finally completed yesterday and celebrated, appropriately (or perhaps quite inappropriately), with a drink. As I gulped the bitter sweet amber nectar out of the strangely comforting pint glass (which I have sorely missed) at the Captain’s Cabin in central London, I reflected upon what I have achieved.

In the grand scheme of things, one month’s abstinence from alcohol is nothing. Some people renounce alcohol for the rest of their lives whilst others relinquish consuming meat. Some even sacrifice all sex related acts for the sake of religious leadership - although a few do break this and get caught up in a tangled web of controversy involving under age individuals [cough Catholic Church].

But as a personal challenge, this was a commendable achievement. For a month, I could not reach for a beer at home when I was bored or depressed. I also had to contain my alcoholic appetite whenever I went out with people to bars or pubs. Whilst I was noticeably more quiet in social situations, I was however more sensible and measured with the way I conducted myself. Rather than my conversations descending into drunken laddish banter (often perceived as rude and incomprehensible to those around us) I maintained a composed and I daresay more mature way of conversing with other individuals.

However, with new acquaintances I was markedly more self conscious in my demeanour and I’m quite certain a fair few people picked up on this. This was a side of me I have been hiding with alcohol for a very long time.

As I progressed through I month, I realized I was replacing alcohol consumption with playing football. Any kick about that I was invited to, I would attend. Although already part of an 11-a-side team, I also joined a 5-a-side Power League team as well. My sessions in our home gym also intensified and became more frequent as I no longer had days where I was too hungover to get off my arse to lift weights. I felt as though I was more focused on achieving targets I set myself. As a result of all this, I feel as fit as a fiddle.

Furthermore, my bowel pains and headaches also disappeared and I no longer got heart palpitations. Additionally, my bank account suffered a lot less although it was brought back to its knees last night at the pub.

So have I have changed after this one month self-denial of alcohol? Well, a complete transformation is out of the question. Alcohol will always form the core of my social life. However I will endeavour to make changes to the way I approach it. Restraining myself from drinking it by myself when I’m sat in front of the television or computer. Spending a more sensible amount on nights out and aiming to not to get as ludicrously intoxicated as I have done in the past, and instead, focusing on trying to speak to people more sensibly.

To say I cannot live without alcohol would be a pathetic statement to make. However, the enjoyment that I have experienced whilst under its spell has been memorable and I foresee many more years of drinking, although less frequently and more perhaps more prudently, to come.

The debates last week were won on coolness, not policies

Now if I’m being totally honest, despite my seemingly intellectual rants in previous blog entries, I don’t actually know as much about politics as most of you people seem to think I do. Aside from a politics A-level, a sociology degree, a daily inspection of the BBC news website and a regular splattering of Question Time…well, I guess I know as much as the average Joe off the street.


So I’m not going to bore you with an in-depth political analysis of the UK’s first ever election debate between the leaders of the three main parties, whilst wittily throwing in a few references to the Icelandic Volcano. That would bring an ash cloud of misery to all loyal followers of this blog.


No, what I am going to do instead is poke fun at the debaters much like the multitude of Facebook groups that have sprung in the wake of this event.
So David Cameron. Suave and smooth (both verbally and facially) he may have been, but he most definitely bore the brunt of most of the internet comedy. Yes anecdotes were a mainstay strategy of all three debaters, but the Tory leader took it to another level – starting almost every argument with an account of how he met someone last week. I’m watching a political debate here David – not one man’s memoirs of his journeys through gloomy England.


One of my mates aptly called it “Story time with David Cameron”. Furthermore, in one example, he highlighted how one of these individuals he met was black – despite it making no difference whatsoever to the point he was making. His predictable rhetoric was inevitably parodied with this brilliant little website.


On a substance level (and I do apologize for breaking my promise about not delving into a political analysis) I did not appreciate how he equated China to being as dangerous as Iran when it came to the topic of which countries were a threat to world peace with their nuclear weapons. This is in spite of China being a permanent member of the Nuclear Safety Council and a regular discourager of North Korea’s weapons testing. It was clear he was attempting to play on peoples’ fears – an approach which was regularly employed by the Bush regime and picked up upon by political film maker Michael Moore in his rather brilliant documentary ‘Bowling for Columbine’.



Do we want to live under a government that looks to frighten us into supporting them? I sincerely hope not.

Moving on, Gordon Brown was tedious as usual. I don’t know what it is about him, maybe it’s his voice, but he seems to tinge every speech and answer he makes with a dark cloud of gloom and doom. I certainly don’t want to hear another few years of his voice delivering news on how the economy is slowly and surely making a recovery. It’s enough to make me slit my wrists and then hope I die a very quick death.

Additionally, he had an amusing habit of agreeing with most of the points Nick Clegg made. Is he a Lib Dem in disguise? Or are Labour planning to reinvent themselves again to create (god forbid) a fourth way? Of course this was picked up upon by the good people of the internet who dedicated a facebook group to his catch phrase: “I agree with Nick”.

I also found it rather amusing how Gordon Brown opted for a bright pink tie instead of the usual plush red of the Labour party. An allegedly bad-tempered, bulky Scott being tamed by a rather effeminate looking tie. Nice.

And finally, Nick Clegg. Well, call me biased, but I think he came out looking the best. Composed, charismatic and fresh. He didn’t resemble an old wreck like Brown or an overly polished plastic mannequin like Cameron. Perhaps those labeling him as the new Obama was a bit much (especially considering he’s not black) but he was cool, and for that adjective to be used on someone in politics is rarer than a Jeremy Clarkson endorsed ad campaign for People and Planet.

Furthermore, the fact he’s slept with no more than 30 women actually further raises my opinion of him. What an absolute lad. Just what we need in government – a bit of character and spunk. Excuse me.


Of course he didn’t escape humorous criticism entirely with many poking fun at his views on scrapping Trident. But I feel he is perhaps one of the best leaders the Lib Dems have had in years. And whilst the prospect of them gaining power is still incredibly unlikely, he has done enough to make Labour and the Conservatives quake in their boots at the likelihood of a hung parliament.



Go on Nick Clegg my son.

Farewell to John Lewis

So after working 7 months for middle England’s favourite department store, John Lewis, I finally finished my last shift last week. Whilst not a particularly extensive stint, I am still rather sad about leaving this prestigious company

The John Lewis partnership is run as a co-operative – that is to say that all employees own a portion of the company and are effectively partners. And, as we are all partners, we all get a share of the profits at the end of the tax year which is calculated as a percentage of our salaries.

This is in contrast to how most other private companies are run where the majority of the profit is reinvested into the business and the people at the top.

As partners, all employees have the right to have a say in how the business is run. This can be done by raising issues to your manager or attending branch or regional meetings.

The John Lewis partnership also regularly uses its profits to fund activities and events for its staff such as football tournaments or tickets to concerts.

Of course there are disadvantages to running a business like this. John Lewis cannot grow anywhere near as exponentially as say, Tescos, as their profits are nowhere near as vast and their charter forbids them from floating the company on the stock market to gain additional funds.

However, I have a high regard of the way the business is run. In a present society where colossal corporations dominate the marketplace; where shareholders dictate the running of businesses; where directors and bankers sometimes treat themselves to preposterous bonuses – John Lewis is one of the few companies that makes an extra effort to care about their employees.

The managing director, Andy Street, can only earn 50 times more than the lowest paid partner as is dictated in the company charter – which was written by the founder John Spedan Lewis. This means he has an annual salary of around 500,000 pounds. Whilst still a large amount compared to us mere mortals, it is nothing when you look at the managing directors of other prominent organizations who take home with them several millions.

John Lewis is indeed a ‘third way’ of running a business that works, and whilst I acknowledge that modern competition and globalization has necessitated a ruthless pursuit of profits in a bid to expand or stay alive, I do believe much can be learnt from this socialist influenced company.

So there’s a General Election in two months…does anyone care?

So Gordon Brown has finally penned in 6^th of May as the date for the next General Election – or, if you prefer to be cynical, the end of Labour’s promising but ultimately stuttering reign. I say this because it almost seems a certainty now that come May, David Cameron will be our new Prime Minister. And it’s not because he’s hugely charismatic or possesses a wealth of exhilarating new ideas and policies. No, it’s because the British public have quite simply had enough of Labour’s drivel and crave some sort of a change. Although change is said with the tongue firmly in the cheek.

And herein lies the problem with British politics these days. EVERYTHING IS THE BLOODY SAME. The three main parties are so anxious about losing votes that to propose any sort of policy that strays too far from what the others have pledged would be considered political suicide. No one sticks to principles anymore. The Conservatives are no longer the right wing toffs us lefty students love to hate – they’re simply a reworking of Labour with a few environmental policies thrown in. Even my supported party, the Lib Dems, have joined this middle ground bandwagon. The British political scale is getting so crowded in the middle that it’s beginning to sag and bulge.

We no longer have the parties fighting their claimed corners. No Labour pledging for socialist rights and no Conservatives standing up for traditional Tory values. Every party just wants that media friendly leader who knows how to say the right things at the right time to get the masses on their side. Gordon Brown – dull. David Cameron – tiresome. Nick Clegg – dreary. There are no characters left in British politics. No charismatic leaders who will stir a crowd into a passionate frenzy or drive them to a chorus of boos and hisses.

I watched a program the other day which highlighted how in the 1950s, hundreds of people would turn up to political rallies to question the leader of the party in question directly – often resulting in heated debates. This no longer occurs – we are all too happy sitting on our sofas watching them spout out the same middle ground nonsense to us on television.

No wonder voter turnout is so low. And no wonder the BNP are gaining votes. The disenchanted and frustrated are turning towards this extreme right wing clap trap because they see it as the only real alternative in these ruthless economic times. Nick Griffin and his cronies are the only party that are not afraid to speak their mind – and unfortunately some sections of British society like that.

Quite simply, British politics needs an overhaul. There is no point offering change if it is simply a repackaging of what was once sold to us before in the past.

Personally, I will be unenthusiastically casting my vote on the 6^th of May in what will be one of the most uninspiring general elections for a very long time.

AND IN OTHER NEWS – NO MORE DRINK FOR ME.

Whilst the election campaigns hot up or, for want of a better phrase, creak slowly into life, I have decided to give up alcohol. For four weeks. Easy for most people but when you are a bordering alcoholic like me, this will be a challenge of monumental proportions.

I will go to clubs and bars realizing how over rated some of these places are and how appalling the music is. I will have to overcome my self - consciousness in these places by actually working on my confidence instead of reaching for a beer. I will have to learn to dance properly, instead of simply wriggling like a worm trying to escape a hole, in a bid to show that I’m vaguely attractive to the opposite sex. I will no longer believe I am the life of the party. I can no longer down my wine and post outrageous statuses on Facebook whilst on a dreaded downer. These are all things I will have to overcome.

On a more positive note, I will save a huge amount of money. My health, both mentally and physically, will improve significantly.

This is a challenge that I WILL complete. And if I complete it, I will consider extending it to 5 weeks. Then possibly 6 weeks and so on.

Wish me luck.

The Asian Outsiders

The Daily Mail. The holy text of middle-England house wives. The voice of good old fashioned Conservatism with a capital C. If The Daily Mail were a person, it would be that annoying middle aged woman from next door whose only topics of conversation are to vilify asylum seekers, homosexuals and muslims – who are all apparently in some sort of pact to destroy the fabric of British society.

Yes the Daily Mail is very good at propagating extreme right wing views under the guise of a serious tabloid (which happens to be quite the oxymoron). Seemingly harmless news stories in this paper are all given their special brand of right wing treatment before being published as I observed in an article from last week:

“Chinese and Indian pupils get more top grades at GCSE than British children”

Whist seemingly harmless at first, I soon cottoned on to the fact they were separating us Asians from the British. This was confirmed in the first paragraph:

“Chinese and Indian pupils gain more top grades than white British children in every school subject.”

So according to the Daily Mail, Chinese and Indians cannot also be British despite the fact many of us were actually born and raised on this island and have as much of the culture within us as our white counter parts. (Hell I even have a British accent. Go me).

What the Daily Mail has done is to ‘Other’ us. A term that Sociologists (like myself) and studiers of the media love to use. It is a process where our race and heritage are highlighted and used to negatively separate us from the rest of society. In this case, the implication is that you can only be British if you’re white NOT if you’re Chinese or Indian.

Whilst a seemingly banal observation, when you start to look at the news more intimately you gradually start to notice all these little facets that make up a big problem. Muslims suffer from this ‘Othering’ worse than other religious or ethnic group. It doesn’t matter if you were born in London and have lived there all your life – if you’re a member of the muslim faith you will be labelled as an outsider whether you like it or not.

This has serious implications for British society who will continue to see us ethnic minorities as the mysterious unknown. It will continue to proliferate racial divide and tension as media publications such as the Daily Mail hinder our acceptance into British society.

I don’t want to be seen as that ‘Chinaman’ who lives down the road. I want to be referred to as the British guy with a Chinese racial heritage.

As for the article itself, this seems to be regular story that crops up every year. Whilst the foolish will point to the idea that Asians are supposedly naturally more intelligent (it’s genetic?!) the sensible will realize that our culture places great importance on education as a means to better oneself. In other words, if we don’t get an A in all our subjects, Mummy and Daddy will go apeshit on us.

Whilst education is important, I do however question the Asian propensity towards achieving high grades and pushing their kids (sometimes to near breaking point in some cases). Is it a healthy? Do we want all our kids to be Engineers, Doctors, Lawyers and Accountants? Or should we also encourage them to pursue other less traditional paths that they enjoy and find more fulfilling? I mean I seriously doubt that each and every one of these kids enjoy their chosen career paths and have not just done so to appease their strict Asian parents.

I don’t know about others, but I’d love to see more Chinese in the media instead of cooped up in the accounting office. Perhaps even a British Born Chinese professional footballer in the Premier League – well, we can all dream...

Mephodrone – the worst thing the government can do now is over react.

I think it’s a sure sign of my age when I discover new drugs through the media instead of through my friends. That, or maybe I’ve just fallen in with the wrong crowd...

But the first thing that springs to mind when I hear of this new fangled ‘Miaow Miaow’ (which is also supposedly plant fertilizer) is just how ridiculous the slang term is. It is near impossible envisaging anyone approaching a dealer and uttering those two syllables without sounding like they have a mental age of 5.

Yet, despite (or perhaps because of) the bizarre name, this new legal high has made headlines and has been the point of debate for the past few weeks. It appears to be the new kid on the block, who has made a stir by throwing a decadent house party that has been the talk of the town. Ecstasy is clearly jealous.

But like Ecstasy in its early days, mephodrone has also courted controversy. There have been a number of deaths which, as we would expect, have caught the attention the government. And the British government, being one of the best governments in the world of course, has deliberated about this and has considered outlawing poor mephadrone with a class B status. This would put it in the same category as Amphetamines and, that shameful drug that we have all done but never admit to, Cannabis.

However, this is the completely wrong way to go about things. I can understand the government’s concern at the growing media storm over this drug, but reacting so rapidly and in such an authoritarian manner to news and public opinion will not solve the issue.

Making mephadrone illegal will simply drive the substance underground forcing it into the hands of drug dealers and criminals who will welcome the additional income with open arms. Not enough research has been conducted on Miaow Miaow. We don’t know for sure whether those unfortunate few deaths were as a result of the actual drug or because of a corrupt batch or even dangerous mixing with alcohol.

But it seems the government is heading down the same path that was taken with Ecstasy in the early 1990s – by responding to the media-created moral panic through impulsive illegalization without thorough research. This has resulted in top scientists losing their jobs for speaking the truth about these drugs later down line – that they aren’t actually as bad as the government make them out to be.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not a freedom fighter for drugs. I believe some substances, such as heroin and crack, should always remain illegal. I am however, a fighter for measured action and common sense. And it is only with this strategy, can the government reach a sensible decision on Mephadrone.

In addition, Mr Brown, regulation and taxation of certain drugs can bring many benefits. It could perhaps relieve some of the debt issues that were highlighted in the budget…